I only pass 'em on....

Some good ones DF, and rude !!! LOL

Beware of some of our members on Wigan Peers......

A school somewhere in Yorkshire, teacher asks the kids to say a sentence with cactus in.

Little lad stands up and says, last week me and my brother had diarrhoea, we both farted and cactus pants...........

Some Man United fans stayed in their seats until the end to beat the traffic. Smart.

Some questions for Ray's quiz night...?????

School howlers:
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
BIOLOGY
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A : A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
ENGLISH
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A : Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
TECHNOLOGY
Q : What is a turbine?
A : Something an Arab wears on his head.
RELIGION
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lay eggs......................................

After dropping my new girlfriend home the other night after our first date, she told me I'd have to wait 3 months before she would have sex with me. I told her I totally understood and respected her decision and that I'd ring her again nearer that time............

"Some questions for Ray's quiz night...?????".

I think those questions and answers were better than mine Admin LOL

"You're getting sacked in the morning," chant the Newcastle fans.


"F*cking hope so," replies Erik Ten Hag.................