I only pass 'em on....

Pork Wellington...baby pickle vegetables with a tomato reduction on a bed of plate

Cumbrian Farmer

"Ere Marra. thou duesent wannabe suppin owt frea that beck, its full o cow shite n sheep piss n deed rats and that eh"

Tourist - '

"I'm sorry I'm from down south, can you speak a little slower"

Cumbrian Farmer - "Aye well, Ya need to cup byath hands together than tho duesent spill owt eh"

A man is talking to the family doctor, "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "What’s for dinner, darling?" He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Sweetheart, what’s for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, she answers .........

................. "For the umpteenth time, I SAID WE’RE HAVING PORK CHOPS!"........

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have
announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8....

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